Trump vs. Harris post card

Trump vs. Harris (2024)

Pre-Fight Hype:

The swamp is buzzing with excitement for this ultimate showdown: Donald Trump vs. Kamala Harris. The arena is set—a murky ring in the heart of the swamp, where the mud is thick, the stakes are high, and the word salads are being served up by the gallon. Tonight’s special? A mix of “Ranch” rhetoric, “Caesar” comebacks, “Balsamic” barbs, and “Thousand Island” takedowns. The crowd is ready for a feast of verbal acrobatics, and the fighters are eager to deliver. Here are the most crucial Rounds of the fight for an abridged & concise view.

Round 1:

Dressing the Stage The bell rings, and Trump storms out of his corner, immediately tossing out a heaping spoonful of “Ranch” rhetoric—rich, creamy, and meant to appeal to the broadest possible audience. “Make America Ranch Again!” he declares, with a wink and a nod to his base. The crowd is eating it up. Harris, however, is quick on her feet. She counters with a zesty “Italian” retort—light, sharp, and full of spice. “We’re not here to dress up the past,” she quips, “we’re here to mix a better future!” Trump responds with a thick “Blue Cheese” comeback, chunky with nostalgia and promises of a return to better days. Harris dodges, delivering a swift “Vinaigrette” jab—tangy and balanced, emphasizing diversity and unity. The round ends with both fighters still strong, but Trump’s heavier rhetoric starting to weigh down the crowd.

Round 5:

The Caesar Shuffle The fifth round begins with Trump trying to dominate the ring with a heavy-handed “Caesar” dressing—rich in flavor, packed with anchovy-laden references to his past victories. “Remember the landslide of 2016? The biggest Caesar salad this country’s ever seen!” he boasts, throwing in a few croutons of conspiracy theories for good measure. Harris isn’t fazed. She whips up a fresh “Greek” response—full of olives, feta, and a touch of wisdom from the ancients. “This isn’t about repeating the past, it’s about crafting something new, something democratic and full of flavor!” Her word salad oozes like no other orator. She lands a punch with a reference to the importance of voter rights, using “Caesar” as an allegory for outdated systems. Trump, feeling the sting, tries to shake things up with a splash of “French” dressing—sweet, tangy, and a bit foreign to distract the crowd. Harris counters with a punchy “Thousand Island” jab, reminding everyone that America is a melting pot of ideas, not just one flavor. The round ends with both fighters still trading blows, but the crowd is starting to appreciate Harris’s platitudes and attitude.

Round 9:

Balsamic Barbs As the ninth round kicks off, the atmosphere thickens with tension—much like the “Balsamic” rhetoric Trump unleashes. Dark, rich, and aged with a vinegar bite, he throws out barbs about “rigged systems” and “deep state” conspiracies, trying to coat the fight with a sense of inevitable doom. Harris, however, stays light on her feet. She responds with a smooth “Raspberry Vinaigrette”—sweet, tart, and appealing to the hopeful and progressive. “We’re here to add color to the American salad,” she declares, landing a solid jab that resonates with the crowd. Trump tries to counter with a heavy drizzle of “Creamy Italian,” aiming for nostalgia and comfort, but Harris is quick with a “Honey Mustard” hook—mixing sweetness with a punch of mustardy resolve. The crowd seems to be buying whatever nonsense the candidates spew. This round ends with a stale mate and stale dressing.

Round 12:

The Final Toss The final round begins, and both fighters are visibly exhausted but determined. Trump goes all in with a thick “Russian” dressing—oily, heavy, and mysterious, hinting at foreign influence and behind-the-scenes deals. He tries to sway the crowd with big promises, “We’ll make this salad great again, getting rid of the criminals mixing it!” Harris, unfazed, responds with a sharp “Cilantro Lime”—fresh, bold, but nothing different from anything before. “This isn’t about the past or foreign flavors, it’s about our future!” she declares, landing a solid uppercut that leaves Trump momentarily stunned, due to the crowd cheering for platitudes. The swamp itself seems to come alive, with the crowd on the edge of their seats, devouring every word salad tossed into the ring. Trump, seeing the end in sight, throws out a last-ditch “Thousand Island” attempt, a mishmash of everything he’s got left. “I’m sure you’ve been to a lot of islands.” The crowd is in shock as the final bell rings.

Post-Fight Analysis:

The judges are split, much like the nation watching. Trump’s heavy-handed rhetoric had its moments, but Harris’s fresh and dynamic approach seemed to win over the crowd in the end. The swamp is littered with the remains of word salads, with both fighters showing they can toss with the best of them. Whether you preferred Trump’s hearty, old-school flavors or Harris’s zesty, modern twists, one thing is certain: this was a fight for the ages, full of flavor, punch, and plenty of dressing.

Postcard details:

These vibrant 120 lb. cardstock postcards are sure to capture the eye and provide for a wonderful gift or salutations to a friend or family member in another place. These are numbered and signed.